So often, when I think about following where the Lord leads, I think of all the things I don't want to do that He could ask of me. And He often will direct me to do things I don't want to do.Be kind to that person who makes me crazy, be patient with people I want to scream at, listen when I'd rather talk. My nature is unlike His nature. My nature wants me to be happy and comfortable, and while He doesn't necessarily want me to be unhappy or uncomfortable, He has a much larger plan at work. He wants the whole world. He wants everyone to know and love and follow Him so we can live with Him forever. I am small scale; He is large-scale. As a result, our two agendas don't always match up. And since His plan is larger, it often involves me changing my plans, and going directions I didn't intend.
But I think I often look at that tendency, and think, "If I want it or it sounds good to me, it must not be His plan at all." And I warp my thinking around and do what sounds the least fun. Because if it is opposite of what I would normally want, it must be His leading, right? Wrong. Once again, I took over. The whole point behind following Jesus is that He drives, not me. But I tend to grab the keys, say "scoot over, I've got this!" and go where I think He wants me to go, instead of actually listening to His voice.
He's got great plans for me (and you)! I know He does, because He tells us so. (Jeremiah 29:11) But more than just the plans He's got in store for us, He has a great ride planned. The journey isn't easy, but He is right there with us. Think about: a life long road trip with Jesus! Great conversations, great scenery, and all in the Presence of the King. But we miss out on that when we act like we're in charge. My point is this: taking the hard way out is not always the right way to go. Just like taking the easy way out is not the way to go. The right path is the one He directs us to: the path of Life. Like He said, He is the "Way, the Truth, and the Life." (John 14:6) That's a pretty great package if you ask me. It's not up to me to choose the easy or hard way because I want to. It's up to me to listen and follow where He leads me. Sometimes the path will be easy, and sometimes the living will be hard. But it's all worth it. And we're NEVER alone, because HE is right there with us. All we have to do is scoot over, let Him drive, and hold on tight. Because I guarantee you this: it won't be boring when you're riding with Jesus.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Progress Report
Life gets busy. We may have grand ideas on how we're going to change the world, who we're going to be, etc. But then the day to day sets in, and we wonder, "Am I really doing anything?" We feel like we're just trying to catch up with yesterday, keep up with today, and get ready for tomorrow. Can you relate?
That has been me lately. It will be Monday night again, and I know I'm supposed to blog tomorrow, but I have nothing to say. I try to think back on the last few weeks, and how I've made my difference, but I come up empty. All I can remember is the crazy schedule I've kept, what's coming next, and how I haven't had the time to concentrate on making a difference. I feel like I've failed.
So, today I am going back to my original challenge, and checking in on my goal to make a difference. I've listed out each of my original objectives to mark my progress. Here goes nothing:
1) Stop constantly lamenting my single status and my age. Still working on that one, but I am trying. Most days it is my age I struggle with, in light of my single status. I am peace with being single, or with aging, but not with both together.
2) Do whatever God tells me to do. In thinking back on this, I remember an event that took place last winter, right around the time I started this project. For a while, I had felt like God was telling me to introduce a certain acquaintance to some of my church friends. I went back and forth about it. I was unsure of the wisdom of inviting this acquaintance to a church gathering, and wondered about it being awkward, etc. I had this gut feeling that this group of church people would love this other person, and they'd all get along, but I still waffled. This had been going on for months, since late summer. Then in February, just before my birthday (and the slated start of my Difference project), I was organizing a get together with that group of church friends. I warred with myself and God about inviting this person, but finally as a last minute impulse invited her, and she said she'd come. I was nervous, but God showed up, big time, and it ended up being such an awesome thing for all of us. God knew she would benefit from their friendship, and vice versa, and He had a plan in place all along (of course). And I love that I have gotten closer to this once-acquaintance and watched her grow in her relationship with Him. He is so good. I just wonder what would have happened if I hadn't fought him for 6 months before issuing the invite.
3) Go wherever He sends me. Check, I think. It's always so hard to know, but I did feel a leading this summer to leave my day job and return to substitute teaching. After much prayer, I made that transition, and hope that I can bring Him glory each day in a new class.
4) Strive to constantly grow closer to Him. "Strive" is such a tricky word. It's hard to measure, calculate, or take a picture of. I often feel like I am getting nowhere and then I feel defeated. But then I go back and read my journals and blogs, and realize I have grown. So that feeling of longing for more is a good thing, I guess. I suppose it means I AM striving, even when it doesn't feel like it, or I can't see it.
5) Tell everyone I can how awesome He is. I need to work on this one. I am often too quick to take credit for things He does, especially "smaller" things. And while I am not as shy as I used to be, I am not quite bold enough to go shouting, "Woo!! Go Jesus!" or proclaiming His name loudly like some very dear people I know. That just isn't my personality. So I'm looking for my balance, I guess: my way to tell everyone how great God is, while still being me.
So if I were getting a grade on my efforts so far, I guess I'd get about a B minus, maybe a C plus. Not bad, but definitely room for improvement. In looking back over my initial blog, I found these words, "And I very well may fail." So, even though I cannot and do not consider this endeavor a failure, it is ok that I have not change the world yet. It is ok that I am not perfect. I am making progress, and I think that is all right.
That has been me lately. It will be Monday night again, and I know I'm supposed to blog tomorrow, but I have nothing to say. I try to think back on the last few weeks, and how I've made my difference, but I come up empty. All I can remember is the crazy schedule I've kept, what's coming next, and how I haven't had the time to concentrate on making a difference. I feel like I've failed.
So, today I am going back to my original challenge, and checking in on my goal to make a difference. I've listed out each of my original objectives to mark my progress. Here goes nothing:
1) Stop constantly lamenting my single status and my age. Still working on that one, but I am trying. Most days it is my age I struggle with, in light of my single status. I am peace with being single, or with aging, but not with both together.
2) Do whatever God tells me to do. In thinking back on this, I remember an event that took place last winter, right around the time I started this project. For a while, I had felt like God was telling me to introduce a certain acquaintance to some of my church friends. I went back and forth about it. I was unsure of the wisdom of inviting this acquaintance to a church gathering, and wondered about it being awkward, etc. I had this gut feeling that this group of church people would love this other person, and they'd all get along, but I still waffled. This had been going on for months, since late summer. Then in February, just before my birthday (and the slated start of my Difference project), I was organizing a get together with that group of church friends. I warred with myself and God about inviting this person, but finally as a last minute impulse invited her, and she said she'd come. I was nervous, but God showed up, big time, and it ended up being such an awesome thing for all of us. God knew she would benefit from their friendship, and vice versa, and He had a plan in place all along (of course). And I love that I have gotten closer to this once-acquaintance and watched her grow in her relationship with Him. He is so good. I just wonder what would have happened if I hadn't fought him for 6 months before issuing the invite.
3) Go wherever He sends me. Check, I think. It's always so hard to know, but I did feel a leading this summer to leave my day job and return to substitute teaching. After much prayer, I made that transition, and hope that I can bring Him glory each day in a new class.
4) Strive to constantly grow closer to Him. "Strive" is such a tricky word. It's hard to measure, calculate, or take a picture of. I often feel like I am getting nowhere and then I feel defeated. But then I go back and read my journals and blogs, and realize I have grown. So that feeling of longing for more is a good thing, I guess. I suppose it means I AM striving, even when it doesn't feel like it, or I can't see it.
5) Tell everyone I can how awesome He is. I need to work on this one. I am often too quick to take credit for things He does, especially "smaller" things. And while I am not as shy as I used to be, I am not quite bold enough to go shouting, "Woo!! Go Jesus!" or proclaiming His name loudly like some very dear people I know. That just isn't my personality. So I'm looking for my balance, I guess: my way to tell everyone how great God is, while still being me.
So if I were getting a grade on my efforts so far, I guess I'd get about a B minus, maybe a C plus. Not bad, but definitely room for improvement. In looking back over my initial blog, I found these words, "And I very well may fail." So, even though I cannot and do not consider this endeavor a failure, it is ok that I have not change the world yet. It is ok that I am not perfect. I am making progress, and I think that is all right.
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