It had been a long week, starting with too little sleep and not feeling well on Sunday, followed by a full week of subbing and dance. Then it was topped off by oversleeping Thursday and a minor traffic incident, which left my shoulder a little sore, a malady that was not helped by teaching tumbling Thursday afternoon (Just one more back tuck? Please??) And Friday after school I had a hair appointment, which meant I was getting home a lot later than normal for a Friday. So I was less than pleased to get the text that my sister had ended her day early, was already home and didn't feel like getting out to a Redbox for the movie we had planned to watch that night. Could I please stop at one? She had been in a fender bender Thursday and didn't feel good.
I'm not proud of it, but I had a fairly lousy attitude about it. "I don't wanna!" I fussed at my text messages. "I am tired of working all the time and still having to do everything for everyone," I grumbled. "I'm gonna say 'no.' There's no law that says I have to." Then a little voice whispered in my ear, "What about making a difference? You said you were going to do whatever was needed." Annoying conscience. "Fine!" I responded, "I'll go, but I don't have to like it."
With that lovely attitude, I headed to the gas station with the video rental box, and waited my turn. When I finally got up to, they were out of the movie we wanted. "Really? Are you kidding me?" So I slid over to the other box to look it up. It's got it on BluRay but not DVD. Great. Just then, a man turns away from the first machine. He had come up while I was searching for the disc on the 2nd machine. "Were you looking for something specific?" he asks me. Still a little annoyed with the world, but not wanting to make it apparent, I responded, "Maybe Iron Man." He smiles and says, "That's what I just returned." And he walked off.
And I was convicted. I had the worst attitude, felt kicked by the world , and was generally in a bad mood. But God chose that moment to remind me that I am important to Him. That He loves me, even when I am a grump, and that He can turn around a day in an instant. I realize all this is very small, and not earth-shattering at all, but it was the reminder I needed right then. God loves me, and wants me to be happy and joyful so I can share His love with the world. He wants me to get over it, and live in a way that is more about Him than me.
I know this seems a little more "Martha"-y, but I feel that it belongs here in The Difference. And here is why: you can't make a (positive) difference in the world if you have a bad attitude or are acting like you are most important in the world. I need to look beyond myself, and do more random and intentional good, with a good attitude!! That man didn't have to engage me; he could have returned the disc and walked away. And I would have grumbled to my car, come home, complained to my sister, and probably been unkind about it. (Because that is where the night was heading.) Instead, I got the movie I wanted, felt noticed in the world, and came home much more cheerful, and immediately sat down to blog about it. I wonder if he meant to make a difference in my day, or if he just did it. Either way, I am glad God sent him to make me realize what I was doing. Thanks God. I needed that reminder tonight. :)
